Australian Survivor Recap: Episode 24

OMG IT’S FINALE WEEK AND THANK GOODNESS BECAUSE IT’S BEEN A VERY LONG SEASON AND THREE EPS A WEEK IS A LOT! But also – yayyy let’s just watch Jericho win this thing! I believe they filmed the finale on Friday already and I just can’t for the life of me understand why they wouldn’t do it live? No chance of spoilers that way! But anyway.

As we saw last week, Locky of course has been booted and it was a long time coming. It was his time. Now it’s down to Tara (no), Michelle (no), Pete (eh maybe) and Jericho (I hope he winsss). And somehow this is being dragged out for 3 nights. Lawd. There’s going to be a lot of sappy filler you guys, so strap in. As soon as I typed the words, we transitioned into each person talking about their growth and journey and how proud they are of themselves and etc. and so on. I anticipate a LOT more of this to follow. Help me. I am not the one today. I cannot.

Michelle is back to hustling with everyone to ensure no matter who wins the next immunity, that they take her to the end. Fair enough. I think she’s got a good chance. But as she’s talking to Jericho, I couldn’t help thinking that sure he would take her, but he HAS to win immunity because who would take him to the end?! They would be crazy to sit next to him right? It’s also becoming apparent that Pete is very much on the outs and al the hustling involves Michelle/Tara, Michelle/Jericho, Jericho/Tara and trying to determine a final 2.¬†Tara gets in the game by using the only leverage she has with Michelle. What else? THE GODDAMN FUCKING CANDY. I am sick of these lollies. I would just eat those damn lollies with her but also then would vote her the fuck out because then nobody else knows about them and I would get to keep them. DUH.

Immunity Challenge

So basically if Peter doesn’t win he’s out. Oh, wait, this isn’t even immunity. It’s an Advantage in the game. The winner of the challenge gets to vote one person out of the jury. So that person won’t get to vote in the final vote. THAT IS BULLSHIT. What the hellllll you can’t fuck with the pure true rules of this game! This is why the US one has remained so successful. They don’t mess with the basics. They stay true to the core of Survivor. This is…crap. If you’re in the jury, you’re in the jury. I would be furious.

The challenge itself is an endurance one (of course) with a twist. It’s like a backwards rock-climbing wall thing where they have to adjust and reach numbered pegs as JLP reads them out. Once they reach them, they have to pull them out and ditch ’em, ostensibly having fewer and fewer to hold on to as the challenge goes on. If they fall in the process, they’re out. And Tara is first out. The other 3 are looking pretty solid. The best thing about this challenge are the incredible descriptive bombs that JLP drops throughout such as (and these are direct quotes):

“Peter shakes one out”

“Jericho gets his out”

“He whips it straight out”

“This makes things sweatier, it’s harder to hold on”

“Oooh it slips out”

“He pulls it out” etc.

The 13 year old teenage boy in me (ew) cannot stop giggling. Anyway Michelle falls out next so it’s down to Peter and Jericho. After a particularly tricky manoeuvre, Peter drops out and Jericho wins his first individual challenge. Go Jericho! And bloody great effort Pete.

Now Jericho just needs to do the maths and think about who he is going to boot (still bullshit). He’s very clever in that he throws it out to the whole group to gauge their thoughts, and then will do the opposite of what they say. Obviously they want to keep certain people in, and that won’t be helpful to Jericho. Pete wants Tessa and Jarrad to stay in there, so he is gonna throw some other names under the bus (Locky). Jericho obviously sees right through THAT.

A Total Bastardisation Of “Tribal Council”

This is total bullshit. If you make it to the jury, you deserve to be in the goddamn jury and stay on the jury and vote for the winner. The jury shouldn’t even be a part of this or acknowledged or spoken to or swayed by anything by the game itself playing out. I am furious about this still it seems. The jury looks suitably shocked when they hear what is about to happen. To top off the bastardisation of the game even more, Jericho gets to ask the JURY 3 questions before he makes his decision. WHAT.

First question is to Jarrad about the kind of player he is and his decision making process. Jarrad gives a kinda lame answer about voting for game play and gathering intel from the jury. This is insanity. Then he asks Tessa if they were in a Survivor fantasy world and she had the chance to swap with the least-deserving person in the group and send them to the jury instead, who would it be? She says Tara because of her lack of game awareness (due to not knowing what’s going on at a lot of TCs). Third question is for Anneliese. I don’t really understand the question until Anneliese clarifies – basically, if she had her mind made up going into the finale, what would make her change her vote away from that person. She says it would be if the person made an admission like “I voted the way somebody else told me to” which is a great bullshit answer because nobody would ever say that and she doesn’t really give anything away. It’s a great answer. Go girl.

But now the thing is, no matter who he picks now, the final 4 now have a MASSIVE insight and awareness into how the jury is thinking and that is just ridiculous. It will change the decision making process going down the line and this close to the end…ugh, it just makes me so mad. Whoever wrote this twist in really does not understand the basic tenets of this game. And that makes me sad.

Time for Jericho to vote.

Time to read Jericho’s vote.

Jericho votes Tessa out of the jury. A jury she VERY MUCH deserved to sit on. She battled her entire time, went really far into the game, and should have had a vote at the final. I’m furious. I’m signing off. Maybe I’ll be back tomorrow.