Australian Survivor Recap: Episode 21

GUYS only 7 players are left. And for the life of me, I can’t get a good read on who is going home tonight. I have a feeling that the producers are about to pull one over on me and save somebody. To draw this thing out. Which will annoy me, coz I’ve looked forward to this all day. Unless it saves someone I want to stay (like Luke or Jericho). I guess I wouldn’t mind if Michelle went home. It would make sense after Sarah got ousted, you know? It’d be almost…poetic. Anyway, now it remains to be seen if she’s well and truly jumped ship to the other alliance, or if she taught her people a lesson and is now ready to come back. And hey, they do have the numbers.

Luke and Jericho are both pretty pleased with themselves obviously, they feel like they are still in a great position. I would fucking LOVE a final 3 of Luke, Jericho and Ziggy TBH. That would be my lit-er-al ideal scenario. And it would MORE THAN make up for the horrible ending last year (no more sobbing on rocks begging for a win this year plz). I don’t know how this would eventuate of course, but as we’ve seen this season, who bloody knows what will happen. It is thrilling. Alas, it looks like Ziggy is happy to go with Locky in the meantime (he’s more of a physical threat than her – subjectively – so he takes the heat off her) and Tara (she’s easy to beat). I mean…great move for Zigz. But will Locky’s bossiness ruin his well-laid plans? Nah, probs not. This is a red herring if ever I saw one. Then again, Tara can tell she won’t have a chance against Locky in the end (or Ziggy TBH) but when you think about it…who WOULD she have a chance against? Surely nobody right? Not at this stage. ANYWAY, point is, shut up Locky. You have this in the bag so just stop pushing them. He’s honestly going to push Tara right over to Luke and Jericho, who would loooove to get Locky out. Oh, yep, off she goes. So that’s happening. Maybe Locky really is out tonight? He was indeed my pick last night.

OMG. I guess the producers got bored again because something didn’t happen for 2 seconds, so when Tara goes for a walk down the beach alone (suspicious), she discovers a pile of quilts and a giant jar of lollies to choose between. Like Luke and Jericho before her, she picks the treats. This kind of “temptation” challenge has now happened for like a third time THIS SEASON. Calm down producers!!! In a real US season, you mayyyyy see something like this once every FIVE seasons. We, the audience, are not as attention deficit as you think. We just need cool characters to interact with each other. That’s it. We love this game already. Chill. At least Tara is able to use them to bribe Ziggy to stick with her. But honestly, Ziggy can just eat the candy and vote against her anyway, but I guess it’s good to try and build up some insurance.

Immunity Challenge

I bet Locky will win. Oooh and it’s an old school challenge. Teepees have hidden items underneath them and players have to run around until they find the specified item in each round (e.g. a bag of rice). But there’s always one less item than people playing, so someone gets eliminated each round. As an added layer, it kinda acts as a game of memory because with each new item, you have to try and remember where you may have already seen it. After the first round, Tara is out. At the next round, Luke baaaarely finds the item in time, but he gets it, leaving Pete as the next one out. Also, they are all basically just playing to beat Locky. So he’ll definitely win. Jericho on the other hand, will not. He’s out. On the fourth round, both Luke and Ziggy grab the wrong item at first and have to head back out until Luke finally finds the right thing. On the 5th round, Locky is first to find his item, followed by Luke. They are the final two. Lots of pressure on Luke. And for the final round, they need to find 5 items, one at a time, in the correct order. Damn. Locky gets the first item, and then the second item, getting a bit of an early lead. Luke gets his first, but Locky gets his third. Shit. Before you know it, it’s over. Locky has it. As expected.

Time for a contingency plan. Bye bye Ziggy?

Tara and Ziggy actually want to work WITH Luke and Jericho so they can keep the strength in the tribe and be able to battle Locky as the challenges wear on. So they will vote for Michelle. But Locky wants to target Luke and the hairs on the back of my neck are immediately standing on end. I will scream bloody murder if that happens. Also…Ziggy is keen to vote with Locky? So Tara gives Luke the heads up and he needs a new plan. He loops in Michelle and they all decide to then go after Ziggy. I am so confused. But Pete is now telling Michelle to vote Luke. But she knows Ziggy is actually more of a threatening challenge beast. I. AM. FREAKING. OUT.

Tribal Council

Honestly I can’t hear anything, I’m not focused, I’m panicked. Luke also sounds very unsure of himself. Like, this may be it. And I’m praying to the Survivor gods that it is not in fact “it”. Everyone shut up and just get to the vote. I can’t believe I’m putting my hopes back in Michelle already.

Time to vote.

Try not to panic.

Time to read votes.

And remember to breathe.

Okay, here we go.

I’m fine.

Ziggy. Luke. Ziggy. Luke. OMG. I CAN’T TAKE THIS. Luke. Luke.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! FUCK ALL OF Y’ALL. I QUIT THIS BITCH. I WILL *NOT* SEE YOU ALL NEXT WEEK, I AM D-O-N-E.

My heart hurts.

Luke, it’s a damn shame to see you go, but it was an absolute joy to watch you play, especially as your bromance with Jericho continued to blossom with each passing day (obviously he’s now my pick to win). Thank you for being such a damn legend, it sure won’t be the same without you. I guess now we can look forward to your overly-expressive facial expressions during Tribal Council at least?!

Cheers Lukey, let’s have a lil look back at your time on Survivor. I’ll be toasting you with an ice cold beer tonight!