100 Observations I Have Made In The Last 12ish Months

You guys, this is my ONE HUNDREDTH POST on aphroisms and a LOT has happened in the almost-12 months since I started the blog. I mainly mean in the world of pop culture/the world in general, but I’d like to think there was also some personal growth and self-awareness thrown in. Come with me on the journey.

  1. I wrote 99 blogs.
  2. Survivor and Real Housewives epitomise everything great about reality TV and it seems like you guys agree.
  3. If recapping shows could be a full-time job, I would do it in a heartbeat even though it takes one million years to do one episode.
  4. Beyoncé was robbed at the Grammys, AGAIN.
  5. Beyoncé has only ever won a Grammy in any other category than “urban” or “R&B” TWICE in her career. And she has 22 Grammys. That’s fucked.
  6. Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds have cemented their place as the most obnoxiously annoying celebrity couple of all time. Though there’s only approx. 3 other people on the planet who agree with me. I’m okay with this. (NB: I actually had to laugh at how so many people congratulated them for being “super private” about their family, only presenting their kids to the world for the first time AT A HOLLYWOOD WALK OF FAME CEREMONY. Like…that’s not…private…even a little bit. That’s holding back on the big reveal and then doing it in as public a place as possible for maximum effect and exposure. Just to be clear. I know I’m alone in this disdain, “couple goals”, blah blah.)
  7. Cute kids tho.
  8. Writing about people on TV is all fun and games until…you become friends with them on Facebook and you realise they’ve read every word.
  9. Youfoodz is the most convenient, wonderful, easy life hack of all time and I’ve never been more happy to spend money on anything ever (GET THE BUFFALO CHICKEN PIZZA IT IS LIFE-CHANGING) (also the Supastar bars – they taste like actual Snickers Bars, you’re welcome).
  10. It turns out I like my hair better short than long. Everyone who told me not to cut it likes it more now too. So. Thanks, team.
  11. Keratin has saved me over 3 hours of styling time – each time I wash my hair.
  12. Keratin is the greatest investment I’ve ever made (yes, even over Youfoodz).
  13. Roger Federer is the male GOAT forreal forreal, it’s official now.
  14. Honestly, I must have deep down given up hope that Roger Federer would ever win a Grand Slam again because I am STILL shook from the Australian Open.
  15. Roger Federer makes playing tennis look so very, very easy and graceful, belying all the work and effort that goes into being that good and I could watch him play forever. Seriously. I hope I do. I hope he never retires and his superhuman talent outlives me.
  16. SERENA WILLIAMS MIGHT JUST TAKE OUT THE OVERALL GOAT CROWN THO COZ MY GIRL WON A GRAND SLAM TITLE WHILE 10 WEEKS PREGNANT – a feat that has never before been accomplished and is highly unlikely to ever be accomplished again…until she is pregnant for the second time. Oh, and she didn’t drop a single set for the entire tournament. NBD.
  17. Blue Ivy is going to be a big sister and is already being completely endearing and adorable while she makes the transition from #blessed only child to #blessed ruler of two younger minions. Observe here.
  18. The Money Diary series is the most educational time-wasting obsession I’ve ever encountered in my entire life and I love it. Please, please read it. Anyone who starts it gets addicted and I need more people to discuss with. You’re welcome in advance btw.
  19. Also…the Money Diary comments might be better than the Money Diary itself so scroll down.
  20. Meanwhile…saving money is really hard.
  21. Ditto having a real, proper, strict budget.
  22. Which means there is no travelling on the horizon year. Like, at all.
  23. I did last year though and Amsterdam is like, really pretty. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it, but it was a slow burner initially (San Fran did this to me too – didn’t BLOW MY MIND while I was there, but it left amazingly good memories that I keep looking back on repeatedly).
  24. Dubai is really hot. Too hot. But it has Magnolia Bakery (read: banana pudding) soooo…it’s still a win.
  25. London is just right though.
  26. Actually, London is one of my favourite places on earth.
  27. I could totally live in London.
  28. London.
  29. Although…THERE’S NO SEPHORA IN ALL OF ENGLAND. This blows my mind. Thank god for the internet. Mind you…I currently live in Sydney and am hypothetically panicking about not having a local Sephora near me in case I hypothetically move to London which incidentally is a mere 2-hour train ride from Paris, the home of countless Sephoras.
  30. Cosmetics take up an alarmingly large proportion of my monthly pay and mental space.
  31. I have approx. 25 “grey” shade nail polishes.
  32. Ditto “berry” lip products.
  33. I use maybe 12% of all my products.
  34. And yet I am still on the hunt for the perfect mascara, anti-chipping top coat and nude-grey polish. THESE BITCHES ARE ELUSIVE.
  35. I have wasted SO MUCH money (a scary amount, seriously) purchasing multiple mascaras, top coats, and nude-grey polishes throughout this quest.
  36. People take my makeup advice so seriously that they will BUY stuff I tell them to, with their own hard-earned cash. This is fun but I also feel the pressure/welcome the serious responsibility of telling someone what to put on their face.
  37. Makeup is a fun distraction from Real Life. Like if I put on enough highlighter and attract enough light to my face EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.
  38. But really, the world is about to go up in flames and we are all just like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  39. Donald Trump will cause the flames. All of them.
  40. Having someone like Donald Trump as President results in a whole bunch of craziness, but on a very micro level, it’s done this thing where it allows you to cull your FB friends suuuper easily. And swiftly.
  41. Barack seems to be living his best life.
  42. Like, he looks fine.
  43. Also, Michelle continues to slay.
  44. Also, Malia.
  45. Also, Sasha.
  46. Seriously the Obamas are doing great and all that matters is that they’re happy. They deserve that.
  47. You know who’s not fine though? Kanye is not fine. He has gone off the rails, even for Kanye.
  48. BUT at least he managed to scalp Tay Tay Swifty first.
  49. AND IT WAS THE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEST.
  50. Kim Kardashian (gulp) became an international hero (briefly).
  51. Tay Tay wisely took the L and disappeared.
  52. Proving that it is indeed possible for a celebrity to go undercover when necessary, despite what some of them will have you believe.
  53. It’s really hard to remember 100 things I’ve observed over 12ish months.
  54. Janelle Monae proved to be one of the most stylish and interesting stars of all time. She created a ‘moment’ every time she stepped onto the red carpet, resulting in lots of personal squealing and hand-clapping. See here and here.
  55. Also Ruth Negga.
  56. Awards shows are getting more and more boring show-wise, but slightly more interesting awards-wise i.e. Mahershala Ali and Viola Davis breaking records with their Oscar wins.
  57. On the other hand…THE OSCARS WERE A SURPRISINGLY ENTERTAINING SHIT-SHOW LOL.
  58. The MET Gala theme is irrelevant when 95% of attendees select their outfits.
  59. And then only 1% of the 5% nail it.
  60. BUT THEY FUCKING *NAIL IT*.
  61. Rihanna has truly become one of my favourite humans of life.
  62. And her Instagram is one of my favourite…um…social medias of life. Oh, the clapbacks.
  63. People still have really passionate Gossip Girl opinions.
  64. Chuck Bass is still an overwhelming favourite > Dan Humphrey.
  65. The people who believe this are wrong.
  66. But only in the context of People Dating Blair.
  67. I value other opinions even if I in no way agree with them.
  68. I’m worried about how much I still care about a series that ended in 2012.
  69. But in slightly more current TV news, Master of None S2 is even BETTER than Master of None S1. Didn’t see that coming.
  70. Broad City S4 is taking way too long to hit my screen but at least Chewing Gum S2 took the edge off (for one night. Seriously. It took me one night).
  71. TV is really good. I love TV.
  72. Ditto Charlotte Tilbury but for makeup.
  73. The “Filmstar Bronze and Glow” is a no-joke must-have forever.
  74. Ditto the “Pillow Talk” lipliner.
  75. OMG THERE’S A MATTE LIPSTICK VERSION OF “PILLOW TALK” THAT NOW EXISTS!
  76. I don’t need any more nude lip products.
  77. But life is not worth living if I’m not buying new “perfect nude” lip products, so…
  78. 28 is an age where one starts requiring eye cream. Depressing but true. Sorry ‘bout it.
  79. Have I mentioned that saving money is really hard? Like…I want to cry and cuss someone out because I can’t buy a lipstick right now, IT’S AN EMOTIONAL JOURNEY.
  80. You know what else puts me on an emotional journey? Chance and his baby. Oh my god. Faves 4eva.
  81. Old fave Lisa Vanderpump is moments from having her crown snatched by Queen-in-waiting Erika Jayne and I am HERE for it. It’s going to be iconic. I go back-and-forth about whether LVP will give it up without a fight or if shit is gonna go down. Guess which one I’m hoping for.
  82. Beyoncé performed at the Grammys while an-indeterminate-number-of-months pregnant with TWINS like the actual Queen she is and even though I never thought it possible, my devotion to her increased a thousand-fold as a direct result of this performance. My heart was already so full!
  83. The world definitively changed when we found out there would be not one, BUT TWO, new Knowles-Carter humans joining it.
  84. I actually have observed that Bey and Jay didn’t do any social posts around Mother’s Day so I think Bey had the babies already and they’ve gone undercover until they choose to do The Reveal. Watch this space.
  85. “The Hate U Give” by Angela Davis came into the world and it is a near-perfect book and should be mandatory reading for every human ever.
  86. I wouldn’t be able to get through a week, let alone 12 months, without daily doses of The Read. Seriously. And there’s only one new episode every week. I back-listen to a topical pop culture news podcast on the daily like it’s normal.
  87. Deleting Tinder/Bumble/etc. DOES increase overall quality of life and self-worth by ~250% as predicted.
  88. Cole Sprouse got really hot.
  89. It feels weird to say that about (one of) the kid(s) from Big Daddy but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  90. Adele is as spectacular/life-changing live exactly as much as one would anticipate. If not more.
  91. And she WILL stop a show if she notices someone is unwell and also cry.
  92. One only leaves an Adele show more devoted than when they walked in.
  93. Gilmore Girls was shitter than I remembered.
  94. We probably don’t need any more of it.
  95. Drinking alcohol and taking a selfie is hard.
  96. So I probably should stop attempting it #basic.
  97. Beyoncé released new merch *yay new phone cover!* but I can’t afford the special edition $300 collection *devastated emotional emoji!* so I really need a sugar daddy *taking applications now!*
  98. I’m contemplating buying it for myself anyway because a life without owning this special edition collection is hardly a life worth living anyway. WHAT EVEN IS THE POINT OF SAVINGS IF NOT TO HAVE MONEY ON HAND TO BUY SPECIAL EDITION MERCH WHEN BEY GIFTS IT TO US?
  99. I’m terrible with money.
  100. Writing a blog and having a full-time job is difficult. But I like it.

Thank you for reading so far and don’t go anywhere because this shit is getting serious now, like we are “seeing each other” dating at this point. I mean, I don’t want to scare you off, but soon you might even have to meet my parents, that’s how legit this is getting. 100 posts = 100 dates. Should we move in soon maybe? …Start talking about kids? How does this work? Love you, bye! *awkward giggle and hang up*